Looks More Like a Puma

Have you ever debated the validity of the word ‘irregardless’? I have on at least two occasions (and I’m not sure I was on the same side each time). The word itself sounds so legitimate that an uncritical ear is likely to let it pass without giving it a second thought. More precise minds, however, object bitterly, complaining that ‘irregardless’ is not a real word, but a foolish confusion of ‘irrespective’ and ‘regardless’.

Turns out, this debate is not (as I thought) a new one. In fact, Literary Digest published an article in 1923 titled “Is There Such a Word as Irregardless in the English Language?” Since then, our dictionaries have done nothing toward settling the question. Webster waffles so violently as to both insist that the word is real and adjure you not to use it.

I myself am quite conflicted. I am generally a great believer in making up words, considering language to be a playground for the cheekily quick-witted. (For instance I am the only proponent, that I know of, of using the word ‘underlap’ to refer to a gap.) On the other hand, my engineer’s mind can have little sympathy for using ‘irregardless’ to mean the same as ‘regardless’, rendering the prefix ‘irr’ an unconventional NOP.

My solution, an elegant one I believe, is to encourage the use of the word  - but as an antonym of ‘regardless’, rather than a synonym. In this way it could be used in all sorts of delightfully quirky constructions such as:

• People can vote in the US irregardless of age.
• Lifetime expectancy has gone up irregardless of medical advances.
• Carrie Underwood had talent, and she won American Idol irregardless.
• Macs are the best computers irregardless of what you need one for.
• All people go to heaven irregardless.

Now I don’t expect you to go on a crusade (because I know my audience), but when the subject comes up, (despite your best efforts?) you can take now a position no one will expect.

i made You promises a thousand times
i try to hear from heaven, but i talk the whole time
i think i made You too small
i never feared You at all

if You touch my face, would i know You?
looked into my eyes, could i behold You?

what do i know of You who spoke me into motion?
where have i even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
are You fire? are You fury?
are You sacred? are You beautiful?
what do i know, what do i know of Holy?

i guess i thought that i had figured You out
i knew all the stories and i learned to talk about
how You were might to save
but those were only empty words on a page

then i caught a glimpse of who You might be
the slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

what do i know of You who spoke me into motion?
where have i even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
are You fire? are You fury?
are You sacred? are You beautiful?
what do i know, what do i know of Holy?

what do i know of Holy?
what do i know of wounds that will heal my shame?
and a God who gave life its name
what do i know of Holy?
of the One who the angels praise
all creation knows Your name.
on earth and heaven above, what do i know of this Love?

what do i know of You who spoke me into motion?
where have i even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
are You fire? are You fury?
are You sacred? are You beautiful?
what do i know, what do i know of Holy?

what do i know of Holy (play)
addison road

Who are we? Why do we muck around with all things that cause us grief? Why do we bother with sins? Fear. Worry. Materialism. Lust. Faithlessness. Spite. Don’t we know who we are?

We are Christians!

We are the disciples Christ loved.
We are more than conquerers.
We are new creations.
We are a holy priesthood.
We are the Body of Christ.
We are the inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven.

We have no reason to be afraid and every reason to hope.
We have no use for pride for we could not save ourselves.
We have no need for insecurities for Christ loved us even to death.
We are not without purpose for God has made plans for us.

Let us not be so easily mired in sin and flesh and doubt and fear. Let us not stoop to these things which are so far beneath our calling. Let us run after our Captain, our Savior, our King.

Go!

Love People!

Fight the Devil!

Win!

I didn’t used to be a yogurt eater. Not from any particular dislike, it just wasn’t one of those foods that I would say, “You know what sounds good right now - friggin’ yogurt.” But now, (hang on, that actually does sound pretty good…

…mmm: strawberry!)

But now, I do like yogurt and eat it on a regular basis. What’s so spectacular about that? Well, it is a curious case, because I happen to know the reason I changed my mind about yogurt - and that reason is Burn Notice.

Burn Notice (if you didn’t know) is a tv show about a spy in forced retirement who uses his mad spy skillz to help out people in distress. Also he eats a lot of yogurt. And since he is clearly an awesome dude, and he eats yogurt, I was subconsciously propelled into the yogurt eating habit.

Scary, huh?

Well it’s not all bad news. At least in this case, I was completely aware of what was going on, and while my attitude towards yogurt was shifted unconsciously, my behavior was changed consciously both because of yogurt’s new appeal and my deliberate recognition that yogurt is generally a good thing.

So what’s the moral? I don’t know, I just thought it was an interesting story. Feel free to draw your own conclusion. Or select one of the suggested ones below.

Suggested Conclusions:

• TV is an evil mind-control device.
• Yogurt is tastey*.
• If you need to motivate yourself to do something, find a tv show about a spy who does that and then you will be motivated to do the thing that you’re trying to motivate yourself to do.
• I am a weak-minded fool.

*@Bequavious ‘e’ for ‘Emphasis!’

You know when God’s telling you to do something? I don’t. I admit: I really don’t feel like I have a good grasp on what God’s voice sounds like. And that’s all it takes - just that little doubt for that other voice to say, “ah, let’s not”, and now I’m not doing whatever it is that God is telling me to do. But I discovered recently that the question you need to be asking yourself at this point is (and this is going to sound bad) does it really matter?

Even if it’s not God - is there a good reason not to do whatever it is you’re being prompted to do? If you suspect the voice to be God’s, the idea is probably a good one, regardless of the source. So the new rule is: if you have the faintest suspicion that God is telling you to do something, and you have no good reason not to do the thing in question, then just do it!

Coupla cautions:

1. Don’t confuse miserable excuse with good reasons. Have no doubt - you will have some reason not to do whatever it is. Chances are, though, it’s not a good reason.
2. This algorithm only works in one direction. I’m not going to tell you that God will never ask you to do something which you have a good reason not to do. And God always trumps your good reasons. So this rule can only be used to help you to action, never to help you to inaction.

So that’s what happens when a computer scientist thinks about spiritual matters - you get heuristics for recognizing God’s voice.