Looks More Like a Puma

I was browsing through the blog I kept on Xanga my freshman year, and I thought it might be fun to periodically pull some of the better entries out of mothballs. Therefore, dear readers, I humbly present the inaugural issue of Classic Trombonium.

During dark, cold months like February, people don’t have much to do but blog, so they tend to write a lot of really inane stuff. One particularly popular idea in 2006 (not that I think things have changed much) was taking some goofy survey and answering it. I also got caught up in this fad, and this is that entry:

This is ridiculous. I never do these things. But, hey, I need to kill some time until all the mean sophmores go away. So…here it is: Read it. If you’re really, really, really bored.

LAST PERSON THAT
1. Slept in your bed: uh…me
2. Saw you cry: not going to answer this, on principle
3. Made you cry: ditto

4. Went to the movies with you: such boring factual questions, my family
5. You went to the mall with: boring
7. You went to dinner with: fish Biddle (there, now you know the real me)
8. You talked on the phone with: fish May (I think, coulda been Zorn)
9. Bought you something: yes, because I really remember that
WOULD YOU RATHER
1. Pierce your nose or tongue: we’re going to go with c: neither

2. Be serious or be funny: c: both

3. Drink whole or skim milk: c: neither
4. Die in a fire or drown: c: not die

ARE YOU
1. Simple or complicated: simply complex
2. Gay: don’t ask… (actually I’m not, but these questions are so boring)
3. Hardcore: about blogging? no
4. Honest: hey, you know what they say about Aggies

DO YOU PREFER
1. Flowers or angels: angels, duh (flowers don’t fight demons)
2. Grey or black: blue
3. Color or Black and white photos: just white photos are fine (but color if I have to choose)
4. Lust or love: are we talking about someone in particular?
5. Sunrise or sunset: oh, it’s always better if the sun’s coming up
6. M&Ms or Skittles: c: both
7. Rap or rock: may rap die a fiery death
8. Staying up late or waking up early: bagging in early and sleeping in late

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
1. Do you like anyone: no, I hate you all
2. Do they know it: I just said no, who’s they?

DO YOU PREFER
1. Being hot or cold: oh, I’m hot (sorry, bad joke)
2. Sun or moon: I like it sunny (but don’t feel bad, moon, you got a close second)
3. Winter or Fall: summer!
4. Left or right: left or right what? generally I use them both

WHAT DO YOU WANT
1. Where do you want to live: Cleveland. (actually where I am is just fine with me)
2. How many kids do you want: none for the moment (but later…)
3. What kind of job do you want: one involving money

4. Do you want to get married: to who?

UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits: I am never nervous
2. Are you double jointed: if you break my elbow, yes

3. Can you roll your tongue: if it wasn’t stuck to my mouth
4. Can you raise one eyebrow: both, actually
5. Can you cross your eyes: no, the skull does a good job of holding them where they are
6. Do you make your bed daily: no, I try to make every couple of weeks or so and not mess it up in the meantime

FOOD
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: I prefer eating it (it’s much tastier in your mouth)
2. Have you ever eaten Spam: actually, gmail has a spam blocker
3. Favorite ice cream: c: all of them
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet: I have a cabinet?
5. What’s your favorite beverage: I’m going to hold judgement until I meet the alcholic ones (not really)
6. What’s your favorite restaurant: home (what else could I say, my mom reads this blog)
7. Do you cook: that depends, does it need to be edible?

MANNERS
1.Do you swear: to uphold the Constitution? Yeah I did that
2. Do you ever spit: eh, I’m too impatient to think of a good (or not so good) joke
3. You cook your own food: didn’t I answer this already?
4. You do your own chores: and my roommate’s (that lazy fish Clark)

5. Did you get payed today: not yet, you got money?
6. You like beef jerky: I don’t like hardly any jerks
7. You like pepsi or coke: yes
8. You plan on going to college: what kind of question is this???
10. You own a dog: unless Dad shot ‘em
11. You spend your money wisely: that takes all the fun out of it
12. You’re always making new friends: I thought they finally ended that show (please don’t make any more)

13. You like to swim: no, that’s why I’m in the Navy
14. Have you ever got so bored you called a friend: no, when I’m bored, I call my enemies

LET’S BE HONEST
In the last month have you…
1. Had a bf/gf: hang on, I’m counting (not really)
2. Bought something: unless you want to pay for all the stuff I need
4. Sang: define singing. does there have to be a recognizable tune?
5. Been kissed: do you need a number… or would “yes” suffice? (not really)
6. Felt stupid: why would I feel stupid?
8. Missed someone: nope, I’m very accurate as a matter of fact
9. Got drunk: well there was that orange juice incident
10. Gotten high: I live on the 4th floor, that’s pretty high
11. Danced crazy: I haven’t even been crazy, much less danced at the fact
12. Gotten your hair cut: is there an alternative?
13. Watched cartoons: where I live, it’s a cartoon everyday
14. Lied: An Aggie does not lie, cheat or steal. (But they do exagerate, cooperate and appropriate…)

There, now that I’ve wasted 30 minutes of both our time…

(more pirates coming later

and yes, Mark, I will type until my dying breath)

See the original Demotivators.

If you haven’t seen any of the Terry Tate: Office Linebacker videos, I highly recommend them. Not only are they very funny, but Terry is a pretty inspiring guy.

Terry Tate: Words to Live By

“100% heart: all day, every day.”
What would you be like if you came to work/school with 100% heart everyday? Would you be amazingly motivating? Shoot yeah, you would!

“Just cause I’m on vacation, don’t mean I’m out to lunch. I came to play, baby.”
Terry Tate is the same awesome guy in the office and on the beach. Is it really necessary to become a total slob and turn off your brain just because you have a few days off work?

“Terry Tate’s a hitter, not a quitter.”
Terry Tate doesn’t give up when he runs into a little resistance, he just starts hitting harder.

“Playing hurt? That don’t phase me, baby.”
Can’t get out of bed because you have a cold? Maybe you could take a page (specifically this one) from Terry Tate’s book.

“When things ain’t happening the way they supposed to happen, you know Triple T gonna condense the nonsense.”
You could never accuse Terry Tate of apathy. He has a high standard for himself and the people under him, and he holds them to it. Letting stuff slide…that’s just being lazy.

“Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” - Colossians 3:17

Mid-Season Report From Mike Sherman

Since I have always considered this football team an extension of the student body at Texas A&M, I want to give you a mid-season update of your team.

Whether you are a football fan or not, the reality is that Aggie football has been a big part of Texas A&M history and tradition for a long time. A lot of you came to Aggieland not only because of great professors and academics, but also because of the people and traditions that exist - traditions that are unique to Texas A&M. It goes without saying that football has been part of that history and responsible for many of its traditions.

With that said, I want you to know I feel a huge responsibility to you, the students, to make sure you can take great interest, pride and ownership of this football team. I do not take that responsibility lightly. You deserve a team that represents you and this University with class, character and a competitive spirit. I fully understand many of you are disappointed with the way things have gone so far this season, as you should be.

To say I am disappointed with this season would be an understatement, but I want you to know I am far from discouraged.

More…

After observing the sad state of the desktop wallpaper of a friend of mine (a screenshot from a star trek video game), I resolved to provide my humble collection of high quality wallpaper to the world. These come from various sources; many are National Geographic pics and a couple I took myself.

Here’s a tasty sample:

Get Nifty Wallpaper.